3.5 Months and Blossoming!

As you can see from this February 14th picture, Erin is growing into a young lady already. She went with Gary and Abby (on left) to a Father/Daughter Valentine's Day Dinner and they had a fabulous time sitting with Steve Hathaway and his 3 beautiful young ladies from the same orphanage as Erin.

Erin's English improves every day. I think the switch has been flipped where she thinks more in English then Russian. She received 3 A's, 3 B's and a C on here report card. We think that is wonderful considering. But secretly we feel we got good grades too since we work so hard with her every night.

So what have we learned so far:

First, she has grown up in a world where she was the only one looking out for her best interests. So she is very independant. She knows how she wants things and it's a little hard for her to trust. We constantly have to ask her if she trust us and reassure her that we love her. Steve Hathaway told me a while back that they went through that with their girls. He had to reassure them that there is nothing they can do to lose our love. He was absolutely right. Thanks Steve.


(Picture: At Valentine's Dinner with Steve's girls and our Executive Pastor, Jay, and his girls)



Second. From the time we met her we have always told her that she can do nothing to lose our love (like Steve told his girls) but at times she seems to think we don't love her anymore. Partly a 14 year old wanting her way when we say no but partly a real feeling that she's not a "biological" part of the family. We have to be very careful to ensure we speak of her exactly what she is, our daughter. We are just proud of her heritage and we brag on it to other people in front of her sometimes. But in her mind it keeps her separate from our other kids. Sounds like a simple thing that we should know and we haven't done it often but it's something we are working to do better. So now we try to discuss her origins with people in other ways.

Third. Just tonight Gary had a discussion with her that came down to this...She feels guilty. Sometimes because she has left her friends to have a good life with a family. Sometimes that she hasn't felt more thankful for what she now has. But the real guilt is that, from what we can tell, she wasn't good enough to be wanted by her real mother. Ahhh, it just breaks your heart. So we have a lot of tearful talks. We just keep telling her that God has big plans for her and put a big age diference between Zach (18) and Abby (12) because she had already been born in Ukraine to fill the middle.

We guess what it really comes down to is patience, patience, patience. She is beautiful, talented, and very smart but she needs constant reassurance and attention. Sometimes we get tired but when she gives you that big bear hug and a kiss and tell you she loves you, it's all worth it.

So for those just starting your experience, hang in there. We all knew it wouldn't be easy but with God's help it has been a wonderful trip so far. Erin has been another piece of treasure that God has given us to add to our already chest full of treasures in Brittany, Zachary, and Abby. We are so very blessed.

And for all our friends who have gone before us, especially the Hathaway's and Henry's, thank you for all of your prayers, advice, and council. You have been our angels.