A Successful First Year Complete!

Well, we have all made it in one piece. Erin has been in America for one year now as of 11 November 2007. It just so happened that it was the same day as we celebrated Gary's parent's 50th wedding anniversary down in Brooksville, Florida. Gary's sister, Stacy, did a lovely slide show for her parents which included great images of Gary's parents but also included a nice celebration of Erin's first year. We were very grateful that Stacy took the time to remember and recognize Erin's first year. It even brought some tears from Erin.




(L to R: Brittany, Abby, Zachary, Erin, Beverly & Gary)

Erin has been doing well and seems to be a normal American teenager for the most part. That doesn't mean that everything is easy as any parent of any teenager knows ;-) She is doing very well in school even making an "A" in Spanish. The fantastic thing is that her Spanish teacher speaks fluent Russian. What a wonderful blessing! Now if we can just get her science teach to speak Russian we'd be all set. Erin said, "Why do I have to take science, I don't want to be a scientist!" Gary's answer to her was "Because I did and I'm not a scientist either so you have to too." Not a very "scientific" answer but it seemed to work.

We still deal with Erin's feelings of not being good enough. Despite doing very well in just about everything she does it is still not good enough to her. She thinks that if she can be perfect she is deserving of being loved and accepted by us. But we keep explaining that our love is unconditional no matter what she does or doesn't do. We've tried to explain God's love for us despite our own many failings and that we can never be truly perfect, but God loves us anyway. Also, she's just a typical competitive Ukrainian kid. From getting in the front of the food or movie line to winning at every conversation, she can be stubborn to the core...But she fits right in to the stubborn Bruce family ;-)

Thank you all for your support and prayers over the last 2 years. From the initial meeting of Irina Lobanova (Erin) December 2005 to her arrival here last November 2006 it has been an amazing view of God's grace and power through people like you. As we watch as even more children arrive from Ukraine we marvel at God's vision for these children. We will continue to pray for those that are still pursuing adoption and pray that God may touch even more families to consider adding one of these children to their family. We in the United States are truly blessed and have so much to offer.

Also, adoption is not the only way people can help. If you're interested in other ways to help we have been working with families that have or are adopting from Ukraine to start a small non-profit group called "Heart For Orphans". Thanks to Mr. Tim Quiram, we now have a web site if you are interested in seeing some of the ways we are trying to help:






http://www.heartfororphans.com/

Anyway, may God Bless you all. We hope you have a wonderful Christmas

Gary & Beverly

8 Month Update

Just a short update to let everyone know things are going fine. This picture was back in May when Beverly and I took Erin on her 7th grade chorus competition at King's Dominion. The chorus performed well winning their division and we had a great time with Erin at the park.

Erin has successfully passed 7th grade with the help of some fantastic teachers within the York County school district. She received all A's and B's and one C on her report card. Erin has grown about 3 inches and is starting to become a young lady (much to my fear as a Father). Aah, but with 3 daughters my shotgun is still warm fending off those boys ;-)

No big issues to discuss other then Erin is a typical 14 year old girl. She's smart, likes food, does incredible cross-stitch work, likes pink anything, and wants to be occupied every minute of the day and will let you know if you are not helping her achieve her perceived "busyness" level. She loves animals (sometimes much more the humans). She is a very hard worker when she puts her mind to it. Always the first to help wash the dishes...or the dog for that matter. And she likes the idea of earning a few bucks when doing extra work outside normal daily Bruce kid requirements.

School is out for the summer and we are heading down to Florida to see relatives this August while getting Zachary into the University of Central Florida. So maybe we can take the kids to Disney or Universal while we are in Orlando.

Erin plans on a good school schedule next year and is signed up to take Spanish. Good grief!! As if 3 languages isn't already enough! But she wants to take it so she can be like her big brother and sister.

Anyway, that's it for now. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. They sure work!

Gary

Fun in Scotland

We are enjoying a nice vacation break with the Quiram's in Aviemore Scotland. We arrived on Saturday, 20 April and we head home tomorrow 27 April. It has been just beautiful.

The castle is Castle Killdrummy. Neil Bruce brother of Robert the Bruce (King of Scotland) hide there with Robert's other family members to protect them when King Edward was after them. They were captured there too. Neil was hanged but because he was Robert's brother they gave him the honor of hanging him higher then the others...How nice.

Anyway, a lot of history here.

To our kids,

We miss you and hope you are doing well. Well be home tomorrow. Brittany, Don't forget to pick us up at the airport Friday night.

See you all soon.

Gary & Bev

3.5 Months and Blossoming!

As you can see from this February 14th picture, Erin is growing into a young lady already. She went with Gary and Abby (on left) to a Father/Daughter Valentine's Day Dinner and they had a fabulous time sitting with Steve Hathaway and his 3 beautiful young ladies from the same orphanage as Erin.

Erin's English improves every day. I think the switch has been flipped where she thinks more in English then Russian. She received 3 A's, 3 B's and a C on here report card. We think that is wonderful considering. But secretly we feel we got good grades too since we work so hard with her every night.

So what have we learned so far:

First, she has grown up in a world where she was the only one looking out for her best interests. So she is very independant. She knows how she wants things and it's a little hard for her to trust. We constantly have to ask her if she trust us and reassure her that we love her. Steve Hathaway told me a while back that they went through that with their girls. He had to reassure them that there is nothing they can do to lose our love. He was absolutely right. Thanks Steve.


(Picture: At Valentine's Dinner with Steve's girls and our Executive Pastor, Jay, and his girls)



Second. From the time we met her we have always told her that she can do nothing to lose our love (like Steve told his girls) but at times she seems to think we don't love her anymore. Partly a 14 year old wanting her way when we say no but partly a real feeling that she's not a "biological" part of the family. We have to be very careful to ensure we speak of her exactly what she is, our daughter. We are just proud of her heritage and we brag on it to other people in front of her sometimes. But in her mind it keeps her separate from our other kids. Sounds like a simple thing that we should know and we haven't done it often but it's something we are working to do better. So now we try to discuss her origins with people in other ways.

Third. Just tonight Gary had a discussion with her that came down to this...She feels guilty. Sometimes because she has left her friends to have a good life with a family. Sometimes that she hasn't felt more thankful for what she now has. But the real guilt is that, from what we can tell, she wasn't good enough to be wanted by her real mother. Ahhh, it just breaks your heart. So we have a lot of tearful talks. We just keep telling her that God has big plans for her and put a big age diference between Zach (18) and Abby (12) because she had already been born in Ukraine to fill the middle.

We guess what it really comes down to is patience, patience, patience. She is beautiful, talented, and very smart but she needs constant reassurance and attention. Sometimes we get tired but when she gives you that big bear hug and a kiss and tell you she loves you, it's all worth it.

So for those just starting your experience, hang in there. We all knew it wouldn't be easy but with God's help it has been a wonderful trip so far. Erin has been another piece of treasure that God has given us to add to our already chest full of treasures in Brittany, Zachary, and Abby. We are so very blessed.

And for all our friends who have gone before us, especially the Hathaway's and Henry's, thank you for all of your prayers, advice, and council. You have been our angels.

2 Month Update

It has been a while since our last post. We have been so busy getting back to "normal" (whatever that might be) that time is quickly passing by.

It has been a wonderful experience so far with Erin but it has not all been a bed of roses nor did we expect it would. Erin has proven so far to be very smart, very sensitive, very beautiful but very stubborn and a perfectionist. Erin is in the local middle school along with her little (although Abby towers over her at 5'5") sister. She has been doing very well in math getting a 99% on her first test on her second day in school but civics is a seemingly nightmare for her. Can you imagine trying to learn about our confusing government having come from another country at age 13 speaking only a little English. It's extremely difficult but she is trying. The school has been wonderful trying everything to help her including a twice a week English as a second language (ESL) tutor doing a great job with her. That said, she is a very proud young lady and as you can imagine doesn't like all the attention. She thinks she is a failure at times and has had a couple of melt-downs despite all the teachers encouragements and hugs as well as our constant communication with her that she is very smart and that she isn't expected to do everything perfectly. But I think we are all making it through. We have spent many a late hour working on homework. We have found a nice resource in Dictionary.com's language resource at the bottom of their website. And 2-3 very nice online translators. But, for those families who have adopted more then one child at the same time...may God Bless You!!! God must have known our limitations when we couldn't bring back Vika last fall.

Another issue has been food. Basically, Erin doesn't like American food. Even if it's the exact same thing label and all as she got in Ukraine. Our friends that have adopted ahead of us (like the Hathaway's and their 3 daughters) said that it was the same for them so we know we are not alone. It is very much a control thing similar as any normal teenager but on a grand scale. But she does seem to be finding things she likes such as Wendy's Cheeseburgers, pepperoni pizza, and fresh fruits and veggies. She'll even slice up a couple of radishes, cucumbers, & carrots and mix it with sour cream. Yummy!? Also, Bev found a nice European Grocery Store down in Newport News that has a very nice Ukrainian lady that has offered food guidance.

Overall, Erin and the rest of the gang are doing well. Erin is very loving and sweet. The pictures above show Erin with her little sister Abby (age 11) at Sea World Orlando just before Christmas. The other picture is Erin with her 2 sisters Brittany (age 21) on the far right and Abby on the far left with her cousin Tristan (Gary's sisters daughter) sitting next to Erin holding a little stuffed pig. It was taken at Gary's parents house in Florida. Erin loved it there as she was able to pick and eat all the oranges she wanted in her grandfathers groves and swim in their back yard pool. She also loved spending time with Bev's father in Orlando playing with his dog Hanna, meeting all of her new Aunts, Uncles and cousins and going to Sea World.

So, lots of fun so far in the Bruce household. We are having a big birthday party this Monday, 15 Jan for Erin who is turning 14 on 18 Jan and Abby who is turning 12 on 17 Jan. Should be a lot of fun.

We thank you all for your thoughts and prayers throughout. We continue to lift up our friends Stan & Terry and Tim & Charlene as both couples head to Ukraine this month to adopt. We pray for a relatively smooth process and that God shows them who their new children are.